The Japanese are renowned for their humility. From the present Japanese prime minister, Yoshihiko Noda, declaring himself to be a fairly unremarkable fish (specifically, a loach rather than a goldfish) upon assuming his current position, to various phrases by which one can humble oneself or exalt one’s conversational partner in the Japanese language, modesty (false or not) is a key virtue in Japan. As such, an understanding of how this emphasis on acting modestly plays out in Japanese social relations is valuable for any foreigners in the country, especially for those trying to use Japanese on a regular basis.
Japanese Humility
Many a fresh-faced gaijin, recently off the plane at Narita, will note the level to which they seem to be appreciated by the natives. Whether it is one’s proficiency with chopsticks, one’s ability to pronounce “Konnichiwa” almost correctly, one’s height, or one’s blond hair that is being lauded, it can seem as though one can do no wrong in those first few months. However, inherent in these interactions is a basic misunderstanding by the gaijin of the dynamics of conversations with Japanese people upon meeting for the first time. [Of course, this does not apply to conversations in which there is a clear and accepted difference in status from the outset, such as between a new recruit and his/her mentor within a company, namely, the senpai-kouhai (せんぱい, 先輩; こうはい, 後輩) relationship.]
In the West, a conversation between two people, newly acquainted, will often involve some jostling for status, wherein one tries to emphasize one’s own good points or achievements. However, in Japan, showing humility is so important that this conversational structure is inverted. Instead, it is the other’s talents or graces that should be highlighted, that is, self-effacement or obsequiousness is the key to the game. Although those unfamiliar with this kind of approach might consider that one person is simply denigrating themselves to the advantage of the other, after a few such encounters, one starts to understand how completely disempowering it can be, especially when, for example, the chief executive of one’s own company, a former professor, 40 years one’s senior, fluent in both English and Japanese, starts to use it.
Proverbs about Humility
In fact, the Japanese have some well-known proverbs (kotowaza, ことわざ, 諺) that, if not actively encouraging people to belittle themselves, certainly suggest the benefits of knowing one’s place. These include “The nail that sticks out gets hammered down” (でるくぎはうたれる, 出る釘は打たれる) and “The more an ear of rice grows, the deeper it should bow” (みのるほどこうべをたれるいなほかな, 実るほど頭を垂れる稲穂かな).